My Journey

by Renee Hansen, Dakota’s mom

603180_3637323991160_2140470775_nDakota Jade was born September 29, 1994. We did not know of her HPE when she was born. Days after she was born, we were told she had Semi Lobar Holoprosencephaly and if she did live, she would NOT have a life worth living. The doctors were WRONG. I made it my life’s goals to make sure my first-born daughter would have a life worth living. And that I did for almost 17 years.

Dakota changed lives from the first day she entered this world. See, I didn’t realize until after she was gone that I needed her just as much as she needed me to survive. God put her on this earth for me and her family and friends to learn from her.

She loved music, Barney, her family, going to school. She was happy most of the time unless she was sick. Her smile and laughter made it all worth while. You couldn’t help but smile and laugh when she did.  This would take the place of her ever calling me momma or telling me, “I love you”.  She did this in her own special way.  Momma knew her inside and out.

Dakota died in her sleep at the age of sweet 16. She had a slight smile on her face as we were sure she was talking with Jesus and the angels.

Grief SUCKS!!! Plain and simple. I knew in the back of my mind that she was going to die one day… but I wasn’t prepared for this, who would be? She had not been sick or anything out of the ordinary. I think she picked her time to leave this world; she felt like Momma was in a good place, loved and supported… and she was needed in heaven.

I believe she was an angel on earth and now is an arch angel working right next to God at heaven’s gates  fighting… she is a strong beautiful warrior in heaven, and one day, I will be with her again.

I went to Maui in February to visit my husband who had been working there. I took Dakota’s ashes to the top of the mountain and scattered them during a sunrise one morning. Then, I took the rest and scattered her ashes out in the ocean at my husbands favorite beach spot on the island.

Miss your sweet face, angel.


6 Comments on “My Journey”

  1. I love you Renee!!! I love that you were so generous to share Dakota with us all these years and continue to do so. The posts you shared of Dakota always brightened my day, even more so on days when I myself was feeling sad, for whatever reason. Her smile was infectious. The pure happiness and joy that showed in her face and her beautiful, soulful eyes made my heart so happy. It was obvious how much she loved you all, you could see it in those beautiful eyes of hers. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful angel, Dakota with me. HUGS!!!

  2. Thank you sharing Renee ❤️ We all love Dakota through your memories 💔😢❤️

  3. God Bless Your Hearts! I am SO NEW to this, I’m 5 months 3 weeks pregnant and have gone through the ringer emotionally, as has my family. Your post gave me hope and inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing this.